It's so frustrating to me,
When you speak out of line,
What do I have to hide behind?
You came willingly,
Strung out, upside down.
Our seemingly endless love,
Has suddenly crumbled up,
Right before us.
But I'm not one,
To try to fix this.
I lack persistence,
Covet distance, all resistance,
Now, Now, Now.
Time is moving fast,
Didn't get a glance,
As I peered through the glass,
I'm never looking back!
I've waited all of my life for this,
To fill the vastly emptiness.
As I start to get a grip,
I feel it slip right through my fist,
What is this slit across my wrist,
I exist, I exist, I exist!..
Thursday, November 27, 2014
To Today, and Forever Always Afraid, of the Way You Pretend to Take Me Away
What can I do to be,
Someone you need?
Do I have to get on my knee's,
Begging please,
Please don't leave me.
I have never met someone who can hold,
So much control over me,
Easily, I used to fuck anyone that I wanted,
Now I'm haunted, by the thought of a touch,
Or anyone, other than you.
What am I supposed to do?
I can't pretend, every day is torture.
Every minute a miniature aborture,
I can see it, slipping through my hands.
In demand, but not something I can have.
Postpartum, only welcome due to circumstance,
Well here I am. You can have my whole being,
If that is what you are feeling.
Do you feel me, am I interesting enough, for you?
Through the thickest black!
You put the attack, on hold.
But I, Tend not to hold back,
Not even a second chance to relapse,
Perhaps, he will forget.
How could I pretend, to put an end,
To the caving of my chest?
Hanging hard on the cusp of every breath.
I've got my mind set on seeing you,
I've got my mind set on the truth,
Will you run or stray away from me?
Will you run or stay with me?
Just lay with me, baby please believe that I won't leave,
it all.
To you.
I guess I will see, as the end and beginning,
Start to coincide, Will I live or die through
This monstrous tide? Is it my time?
Is it right, is it wrong?
Where do I even belong? Am I coming on a tad too strong,
Or just simply not enough?
Enough.
I can taste the buzz of the lift,
Got a loaded gun in a sinking ship.
I can taste the buzz of the lift,
As it starts to shoot sharp pains through my hips.
Through sealed lips, I wont give it a moment to explode,
Seven years of letting go. No one else will know.
I can taste the buzz of the lift,
As my lips switch to shift.
Got a loaded gun in a sinking ship,
I can taste the buzz, but,
I can tell this is it.
As I hit the edge of my limits.
So here's to today, and forever always afraid,
Of the way you pretend to take me away.
Take me away.
Take me away.
Someone you need?
Do I have to get on my knee's,
Begging please,
Please don't leave me.
I have never met someone who can hold,
So much control over me,
Easily, I used to fuck anyone that I wanted,
Now I'm haunted, by the thought of a touch,
Or anyone, other than you.
What am I supposed to do?
I can't pretend, every day is torture.
Every minute a miniature aborture,
I can see it, slipping through my hands.
In demand, but not something I can have.
Postpartum, only welcome due to circumstance,
Well here I am. You can have my whole being,
If that is what you are feeling.
Do you feel me, am I interesting enough, for you?
Through the thickest black!
You put the attack, on hold.
But I, Tend not to hold back,
Not even a second chance to relapse,
Perhaps, he will forget.
How could I pretend, to put an end,
To the caving of my chest?
Hanging hard on the cusp of every breath.
I've got my mind set on seeing you,
I've got my mind set on the truth,
Will you run or stray away from me?
Will you run or stay with me?
Just lay with me, baby please believe that I won't leave,
it all.
To you.
I guess I will see, as the end and beginning,
Start to coincide, Will I live or die through
This monstrous tide? Is it my time?
Is it right, is it wrong?
Where do I even belong? Am I coming on a tad too strong,
Or just simply not enough?
Enough.
I can taste the buzz of the lift,
Got a loaded gun in a sinking ship.
I can taste the buzz of the lift,
As it starts to shoot sharp pains through my hips.
Through sealed lips, I wont give it a moment to explode,
Seven years of letting go. No one else will know.
I can taste the buzz of the lift,
As my lips switch to shift.
Got a loaded gun in a sinking ship,
I can taste the buzz, but,
I can tell this is it.
As I hit the edge of my limits.
So here's to today, and forever always afraid,
Of the way you pretend to take me away.
Take me away.
Take me away.
To Say Danger Is a Step Too Soon.. Where are you?
Let it change you, the embrace of an impending doom.
The shock waves alone, will encase your brittle bones.
Let it change you, let it change you.
To be honest is to be vulnerable,
I heard on a non sensible version,
A perversion of her,
Unheard.
To test the will of time,
Is to simply fall behind,
A sentimental demon,
A wish to spread a line to hide behind,
So thin,
Where do we even begin?
As I stand here,
Unclear, are the things I hold near.
Window panes bring my disdain,
As a wish to contain,
The evil haunting my fragile brain,
Spits an image so clear.
You chose, you take a chance,
I'll be here on a relapse.
If you so chose to elapse this side of awakened senses,
Then may I pretend that the time spent has surpassed us,
A chance I would never forgive us for,
A slight knock at the door.
What were we put here for.
Do I do what I chose to?
Do I melt between the bonds?
Do I do what I'm used to?
Running away, too afraid to stay,
Do I run or stay?
Will you tell me?
Will let me believe that this thing is alive,
Or am I meant to die,
Alone?
Alone? This time.
The shock waves alone, will encase your brittle bones.
Let it change you, let it change you.
To be honest is to be vulnerable,
I heard on a non sensible version,
A perversion of her,
Unheard.
To test the will of time,
Is to simply fall behind,
A sentimental demon,
A wish to spread a line to hide behind,
So thin,
Where do we even begin?
As I stand here,
Unclear, are the things I hold near.
Window panes bring my disdain,
As a wish to contain,
The evil haunting my fragile brain,
Spits an image so clear.
You chose, you take a chance,
I'll be here on a relapse.
If you so chose to elapse this side of awakened senses,
Then may I pretend that the time spent has surpassed us,
A chance I would never forgive us for,
A slight knock at the door.
What were we put here for.
Do I do what I chose to?
Do I melt between the bonds?
Do I do what I'm used to?
Running away, too afraid to stay,
Do I run or stay?
Will you tell me?
Will let me believe that this thing is alive,
Or am I meant to die,
Alone?
Alone? This time.
Friday, November 7, 2014
By Candle Light...
Fitting the fringe,
Tasting black, insomniac.
When you talk big, you get hit back fast!
Lightning lies to split the ties,
Bowling bubbles stir the rubble,
It's a must to muster up the confidence,
As evidence suggests, an imprint of the excess!
Piling bodies in hotel lobbies,
Everyone can digest the mess of success!
Bit by bit, the increments incriminate,
Suffocate, supplicate, no need to be afraid!
Witnesses out the door, wonder what they're put there for,
A hint of inclination, I settle for indignation.
Oil tankards, and doorbells.
Someone says a question,
"I smell repetitious suggestion,
Who's the culprit at apprehension?"
Raising my fist, I let er' rip!
One two, three four,
A pounding at the door!
My heart out of my chest,
Unimpressed but fully suppressed,
Who the fuck made these cuffs so tight?
Finish our drinks and call it a night.
Gave it all to you,
Ghost of my dreams.
Light of the sky,
Let's me live at night,
But by daybreak I die!
Gave it all to you,
Ghost of my dreams,
Ripper of seems,
Ender to all things!
Gave it all to you,
Ghost.. Host..
Being that no one knows..
Tasting black, insomniac.
When you talk big, you get hit back fast!
Lightning lies to split the ties,
Bowling bubbles stir the rubble,
It's a must to muster up the confidence,
As evidence suggests, an imprint of the excess!
Piling bodies in hotel lobbies,
Everyone can digest the mess of success!
Bit by bit, the increments incriminate,
Suffocate, supplicate, no need to be afraid!
Witnesses out the door, wonder what they're put there for,
A hint of inclination, I settle for indignation.
Oil tankards, and doorbells.
Someone says a question,
"I smell repetitious suggestion,
Who's the culprit at apprehension?"
Raising my fist, I let er' rip!
One two, three four,
A pounding at the door!
My heart out of my chest,
Unimpressed but fully suppressed,
Who the fuck made these cuffs so tight?
Finish our drinks and call it a night.
Gave it all to you,
Ghost of my dreams.
Light of the sky,
Let's me live at night,
But by daybreak I die!
Gave it all to you,
Ghost of my dreams,
Ripper of seems,
Ender to all things!
Gave it all to you,
Ghost.. Host..
Being that no one knows..
Wednesday, November 5, 2014
Sweatin' Off an Itch Laced With the Stitches, Idle Hands and Flipped Switches.
Back burning pages,
From my Max Bemis bible.
Torn and turned into stages,
As I climb and slip single file.
Stricken to the edge,
As I filter for a choice.
So what is in store?
It's a plain to see thing,
But I plainly can't believe it to be,
So easily in front of me.
Stuck out my tongue when the wedding bells rung,
Tried not to care, but when fair is fair,
I was raped bare by the truth of it.
Wouldn't dare to make an excuse or run from it.
I'll always come back,
Standing in the same spot feels so reassuring.
I'll always come back,
Stagnancy has a reputable feeling.
Omnipotent,
So insistent,
Clawing at my brain, up the wall, down the drain.
What can I do to fix,
What can I do to be apart of this?
Drag me out by my teeth,
I just don't have time to try to feel inclined anymore.
Drag me out while I'm down on my knee's if the need arises,
Nothing else could take me by surprise, even if you tried.
Even if you tried.
From my Max Bemis bible.
Torn and turned into stages,
As I climb and slip single file.
Stricken to the edge,
As I filter for a choice.
So what is in store?
It's a plain to see thing,
But I plainly can't believe it to be,
So easily in front of me.
Stuck out my tongue when the wedding bells rung,
Tried not to care, but when fair is fair,
I was raped bare by the truth of it.
Wouldn't dare to make an excuse or run from it.
I'll always come back,
Standing in the same spot feels so reassuring.
I'll always come back,
Stagnancy has a reputable feeling.
Omnipotent,
So insistent,
Clawing at my brain, up the wall, down the drain.
What can I do to fix,
What can I do to be apart of this?
Drag me out by my teeth,
I just don't have time to try to feel inclined anymore.
Drag me out while I'm down on my knee's if the need arises,
Nothing else could take me by surprise, even if you tried.
Even if you tried.
Friday, October 31, 2014
What Would You Even Say? (If We Had Never Gone Astray)
I am standing on the edge,
Of everything.
What was that last thing you had said?
I think it went something along the lines of,
Do I matter, and do you even love?
I tried to listened, but I tend to let you down.
As I trudge this forgotten street,
I find myself on my knee's,
Wishing I was back at home.
Only knowing in my brain,
That those days have washed away.
Where do I get off,
Thinking we could conquer this modern world?
I am only a man, and you were only a girl.
Forever destined to be fighting each other,
Like the two of us have had no other.
I look inside every day,
For the strength.
I die a little as time
Pushes the bond between us,
Even further away.
Where do I get off?
Thinking that we could conquer this modern world?
I am only a man, and you were only a girl.
Forever destined to be fighting,
Like we had no chance, We had one another,
Like we had no choice, I am only a man..
I look inside every day,
For the strength.
I die a little as time,
Pushes us even further away.
Even further each day.
Of everything.
What was that last thing you had said?
I think it went something along the lines of,
Do I matter, and do you even love?
I tried to listened, but I tend to let you down.
As I trudge this forgotten street,
I find myself on my knee's,
Wishing I was back at home.
Only knowing in my brain,
That those days have washed away.
Where do I get off,
Thinking we could conquer this modern world?
I am only a man, and you were only a girl.
Forever destined to be fighting each other,
Like the two of us have had no other.
I look inside every day,
For the strength.
I die a little as time
Pushes the bond between us,
Even further away.
Where do I get off?
Thinking that we could conquer this modern world?
I am only a man, and you were only a girl.
Forever destined to be fighting,
Like we had no chance, We had one another,
Like we had no choice, I am only a man..
I look inside every day,
For the strength.
I die a little as time,
Pushes us even further away.
Even further each day.
Monday, October 27, 2014
Milligrams of Release and Reprieve
Ancient,
Anxious.
Like a paperback,
Smooth to the touch,
But no colors to crush,
With your eyes.
Licking your lips,
Signals I'd wish to forget.
I put it all on a bet,
That I placed when I was still yet growing.
A minor mistake still showing.
Only this house,
With rooms filled to the roof,
With ghosts of calloused calls,
Would I pray to be buried.
Can deeply be something granted?
Walls painted with perfume,
My ceiling fan spits a gust so strong,
I had to clutch to hold on.
Luckily underneath was warm,
I thought that what was normal,
Was abstract and conformed.
Low and behold, I know now,
There is no doubt between the couch.
Gone with admission,
And all of my superstitions,
Were proven right all along.
Only this house,
Filled to the roof,
With ghosts and calloused calls,
Would I pray to be buried,
Can deeply be something granted?
Anxious.
Like a paperback,
Smooth to the touch,
But no colors to crush,
With your eyes.
Licking your lips,
Signals I'd wish to forget.
I put it all on a bet,
That I placed when I was still yet growing.
A minor mistake still showing.
Only this house,
With rooms filled to the roof,
With ghosts of calloused calls,
Would I pray to be buried.
Can deeply be something granted?
Walls painted with perfume,
My ceiling fan spits a gust so strong,
I had to clutch to hold on.
Luckily underneath was warm,
I thought that what was normal,
Was abstract and conformed.
Low and behold, I know now,
There is no doubt between the couch.
Gone with admission,
And all of my superstitions,
Were proven right all along.
Only this house,
Filled to the roof,
With ghosts and calloused calls,
Would I pray to be buried,
Can deeply be something granted?
Sunday, October 26, 2014
...And They Say Chivalry is Dead.
I like to stay up late,
For no reason at all.
Off the edge of my bed,
Waiting for a phone call.
I've never taken a step outside,
My life revolves around myself,
And by god no else could help me see,
what is truly right in front of me.
I like to write long boring statements,
About girls who like a guy,
Practically living in his mother's basement,
Bragging about how little I try,
To do anything at all,
It's hard when we're so fucking small.
I see people on screens,
Making millions for being obscene.
Suggesting oppressive idea's,
That everyone else seems to care about.
Is it too late to sleep it off,
Could I possibly wake up,
And be ok with what I've done?
Is it too late to admit,
That being scared isn't even the half of it.
I like to hide behind,
Walls I built with time.
I guess I find it easier to lie,
Than to ever let light leave my eyes.
For no reason at all.
Off the edge of my bed,
Waiting for a phone call.
I've never taken a step outside,
My life revolves around myself,
And by god no else could help me see,
what is truly right in front of me.
I like to write long boring statements,
About girls who like a guy,
Practically living in his mother's basement,
Bragging about how little I try,
To do anything at all,
It's hard when we're so fucking small.
I see people on screens,
Making millions for being obscene.
Suggesting oppressive idea's,
That everyone else seems to care about.
Is it too late to sleep it off,
Could I possibly wake up,
And be ok with what I've done?
Is it too late to admit,
That being scared isn't even the half of it.
I like to hide behind,
Walls I built with time.
I guess I find it easier to lie,
Than to ever let light leave my eyes.
Thursday, October 16, 2014
Calypso (I Don't Think So)
Deep dark crater,
Festering foreign feelings.
Hallucinogenic,
Below what I used to know,
Oceanic, super massive,
Expansive static.
Extraterrestrial,
Giant gas, swirling mass.
Engaged acidic gasp.
Pierced the icy crust,
Incapable of remembrance,
To what I once was.
Hum of home licking the back of my frontal lobe.
Twisted by the visions,
Held inside the water.
Temperature, unstable,
Calculate point, unable.
Mother planet made of rings,
Dancing around bringing a sting,
Aquatic eye, ultraviolet light.
(Don't go too far, Don't forget who you are)
A taste for blood coursing through me
(Eat but live well, Caged again alien)
A taste for death, ever consuming!
Festering foreign feelings ever looming,
Ever looming closer, no closure!
Stealth like priority,
Screaming beacon,
Searching for movement,
Gotta eat, can't lose it.
Kill or be killed,
Orbiting still,
Kill or be killed,
Nature of the living,
Breathe, break, sustain, take.
Fight, flight, stay awake.
Orbiting still,
Kill or be killed...
A taste for blood,
What I once was, was..?
A taste for blood,
Never looking back!
Festering foreign feelings.
Hallucinogenic,
Below what I used to know,
Oceanic, super massive,
Expansive static.
Extraterrestrial,
Giant gas, swirling mass.
Engaged acidic gasp.
Pierced the icy crust,
Incapable of remembrance,
To what I once was.
Hum of home licking the back of my frontal lobe.
Twisted by the visions,
Held inside the water.
Temperature, unstable,
Calculate point, unable.
Mother planet made of rings,
Dancing around bringing a sting,
Aquatic eye, ultraviolet light.
(Don't go too far, Don't forget who you are)
A taste for blood coursing through me
(Eat but live well, Caged again alien)
A taste for death, ever consuming!
Festering foreign feelings ever looming,
Ever looming closer, no closure!
Stealth like priority,
Screaming beacon,
Searching for movement,
Gotta eat, can't lose it.
Kill or be killed,
Orbiting still,
Kill or be killed,
Nature of the living,
Breathe, break, sustain, take.
Fight, flight, stay awake.
Orbiting still,
Kill or be killed...
A taste for blood,
What I once was, was..?
A taste for blood,
Never looking back!
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
Ultima
I can feel the change.
My body, displaced.
To the edge of reason,
Outside the human race.
A calling out
(Yes we know, You must go)
I'm falling down
(Take the task, You're the hand)
Persistent shroud
(Golden Now, Through the clouds)
All perception known,
Replaced with spacious tones.
Peers of gas and density,
Held tight by law of gravity.
Omnipotent aura,
Culling ties of dimensional rights,
Body shed, but my mind expanding.
All thoughts lost, transcending.
To and fro,
No where to go.
Or at least none
That I recognize,
Disbelief as I blink new eyes.
Swirling blackness,
Hot breath slashes,
Through new lungs,
Deranged with madness,
It's happened,
It's happened!
Begging for breath,
I look around,
Only to find,
A broken state of mind.
My body, displaced.
To the edge of reason,
Outside the human race.
A calling out
(Yes we know, You must go)
I'm falling down
(Take the task, You're the hand)
Persistent shroud
(Golden Now, Through the clouds)
All perception known,
Replaced with spacious tones.
Peers of gas and density,
Held tight by law of gravity.
Omnipotent aura,
Culling ties of dimensional rights,
Body shed, but my mind expanding.
All thoughts lost, transcending.
To and fro,
No where to go.
Or at least none
That I recognize,
Disbelief as I blink new eyes.
Swirling blackness,
Hot breath slashes,
Through new lungs,
Deranged with madness,
It's happened,
It's happened!
Begging for breath,
I look around,
Only to find,
A broken state of mind.
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Who, What, Where, When (Have You been?)
Who, What, Where, When,
Have you been?
Hanging hard on the edge of every whim.
Remembrance of then, and now,
It is all relevant some how...
Desolate distance,
Causing criminal indifference,
Incompetent insistence,
Please, oh please,
What does it all mean?
I've seen it all live and die,
Different walks of life.
How is it that I, am not surprised to find,
My own two feet, walking against me.
Who, What, Where, and When,
Have you been?
I can taste the shape of things to come,
Laced, leaving traces on my tongue,
Familiar, leaving me undone.
You know where I will be.
You know where you can find me.
Under the shadow of the sun.
Have you been?
Hanging hard on the edge of every whim.
Remembrance of then, and now,
It is all relevant some how...
Desolate distance,
Causing criminal indifference,
Incompetent insistence,
Please, oh please,
What does it all mean?
I've seen it all live and die,
Different walks of life.
How is it that I, am not surprised to find,
My own two feet, walking against me.
Who, What, Where, and When,
Have you been?
I can taste the shape of things to come,
Laced, leaving traces on my tongue,
Familiar, leaving me undone.
You know where I will be.
You know where you can find me.
Under the shadow of the sun.
Praying Mantis
Sever the ties,
Kingdom of lies,
Come to live a life I despise.
Salt the wound,
Black and blue bruises,
Sink this ship of quicksand decisions,
Lift up the skin, insert chip incision.
Is it best to have a heavy head and an empty heart?
Loaded with lead, ego on point by a check mark.
Laugh at the broken, pompous hoarding thugs.
Getting off by tricks and cheap tugs.
I can have anything my wallet agrees to,
Green colored keys, may they beseech you.
Poison concepts dropped by a hat.
Gotta have it all, we call it the diplomat.
I know you know something is wrong.
But we openly play along, praying one day
For a savior named God.
Pacifist, you make me sick!
Apathy and ignorance.
Pacifist, raise your fist,
Shove it in your mouth and bite down.
Kingdom of lies,
Come to live a life I despise.
Salt the wound,
Black and blue bruises,
Sink this ship of quicksand decisions,
Lift up the skin, insert chip incision.
Is it best to have a heavy head and an empty heart?
Loaded with lead, ego on point by a check mark.
Laugh at the broken, pompous hoarding thugs.
Getting off by tricks and cheap tugs.
I can have anything my wallet agrees to,
Green colored keys, may they beseech you.
Poison concepts dropped by a hat.
Gotta have it all, we call it the diplomat.
I know you know something is wrong.
But we openly play along, praying one day
For a savior named God.
Pacifist, you make me sick!
Apathy and ignorance.
Pacifist, raise your fist,
Shove it in your mouth and bite down.
Sunday, October 12, 2014
Subtle and Stale.
Can I,
Can I trust that this
Is something obvious.
Laying flat,
Flat on my back.
I've,
I've got a question,
Can you answer?
Can you tell me?
I know this won't be forever,
But can we live it together?
I know this will end,
But do you want to spend
Every moment alone atoning
For sins you haven't even committed?
Can I,
Can I trust you?
Are my words misused?
Laying flat,
Flat on our backs.
We like to look at,
Look at the planets,
That dance around.
I know this won't be forever,
But can we live it together?
I know this will end,
But do you want to spend it with me?
Can I,
Can I trust you?
Can you trust me?
I thought that it was plain to see,
Yeah, I thought that you and me,
Were plain to see.
Can I trust that this
Is something obvious.
Laying flat,
Flat on my back.
I've,
I've got a question,
Can you answer?
Can you tell me?
I know this won't be forever,
But can we live it together?
I know this will end,
But do you want to spend
Every moment alone atoning
For sins you haven't even committed?
Can I,
Can I trust you?
Are my words misused?
Laying flat,
Flat on our backs.
We like to look at,
Look at the planets,
That dance around.
I know this won't be forever,
But can we live it together?
I know this will end,
But do you want to spend it with me?
Can I,
Can I trust you?
Can you trust me?
I thought that it was plain to see,
Yeah, I thought that you and me,
Were plain to see.
Saturday, October 11, 2014
Golden Watch (And I Smile Yet Still)
Fantasies, an acceptance of ease.
Starting to piece it all together,
Lost on the coast of forever.
An ocean overflowing,
Causing erosion on my mental cliffs,
Standing on the edge, waiting for it.
Clutched with vice grips,
Flower blooms, out of my finger tips.
Never is never really that long,
Or even half as much as they say.
Waist deep,
No longer pretending to sleep,
Fully awakened from my darkest dreams.
An hour glass an hour past curfew.
If I had the chance,
To do it all again,
I'd give it my all and then some,
Even though I'm no one,
Special at all.
My greatest achievement,
Being a ghost.
A shadow who,
Is glued to the telephone.
Maybe just one call,
Wouldn't hurt you,
At all.
I would trade,
All the stars in our gracious space,
For another glance,
At that precious face,
My words misplaced,
Just like always.
When I get back from,
My holiday,
We can take turns blaming,
Each other.
As long as you are ok,
With waiting.
Is this cage so blatantly hanging,
Round my head?
Where's my next step?
Is it ok if I,
Eat every chapter that we,
So easily prepare?
Unattended conscientious,
Liquid confidence,
You put me on my knee's,
Barring my perfectly crooked teeth!
Upset stomach,
Anxiety like sheets,
Every need covering me,
From head to toe.
In death I'm not even sorry though...
You had me,
You had me.
And I smile yet still.
Starting to piece it all together,
Lost on the coast of forever.
An ocean overflowing,
Causing erosion on my mental cliffs,
Standing on the edge, waiting for it.
Clutched with vice grips,
Flower blooms, out of my finger tips.
Never is never really that long,
Or even half as much as they say.
Waist deep,
No longer pretending to sleep,
Fully awakened from my darkest dreams.
An hour glass an hour past curfew.
If I had the chance,
To do it all again,
I'd give it my all and then some,
Even though I'm no one,
Special at all.
My greatest achievement,
Being a ghost.
A shadow who,
Is glued to the telephone.
Maybe just one call,
Wouldn't hurt you,
At all.
I would trade,
All the stars in our gracious space,
For another glance,
At that precious face,
My words misplaced,
Just like always.
When I get back from,
My holiday,
We can take turns blaming,
Each other.
As long as you are ok,
With waiting.
Is this cage so blatantly hanging,
Round my head?
Where's my next step?
Is it ok if I,
Eat every chapter that we,
So easily prepare?
Unattended conscientious,
Liquid confidence,
You put me on my knee's,
Barring my perfectly crooked teeth!
Upset stomach,
Anxiety like sheets,
Every need covering me,
From head to toe.
In death I'm not even sorry though...
You had me,
You had me.
And I smile yet still.
Tuesday, October 7, 2014
I Was Wrong, All Along.
Walk into the pharmacy,
Take my throne upon a porcelain toilet seat.
Would you remember me?
Doubt pours down my mouth,
Disabled spine, lustful concubine.
Shedding weight like I'm diseased,
Who has needs besides these prescription dreams.
The great itch,
It races down my arms,
Onto my stomach,
And across my back.
Thank god I can forget living,
And just relax.
Pacify, holster your gun.
No need for a repeat rerun.
Numb. Numb. Oh well,
Washed up, over done.
Whats' the cost,
I'm a sinner!
So much for loss,
Am I the grand prize winner??
Severance!
Honestly, honesty is no excuse.
What would it be like if we never met?
Say your goodbyes,
I'm craving delusion.
Does that coincide with my current seclusion?
Why! Do I, care at all?
How, can I, be there,
Why won't you care either?
What will you make of me,
Will I be peacefully sleeping?
What will you make of me,
Will I be haunting your thoughts,
A parasite of what I was?
Would you remember me?
Would you remember me?
Took apart my own form,
Pieced it back together,
More monster than before,
More monster than words could justly perform.
Take my throne upon a porcelain toilet seat.
Would you remember me?
Doubt pours down my mouth,
Disabled spine, lustful concubine.
Shedding weight like I'm diseased,
Who has needs besides these prescription dreams.
The great itch,
It races down my arms,
Onto my stomach,
And across my back.
Thank god I can forget living,
And just relax.
Pacify, holster your gun.
No need for a repeat rerun.
Numb. Numb. Oh well,
Washed up, over done.
Whats' the cost,
I'm a sinner!
So much for loss,
Am I the grand prize winner??
Severance!
Honestly, honesty is no excuse.
What would it be like if we never met?
Say your goodbyes,
I'm craving delusion.
Does that coincide with my current seclusion?
Why! Do I, care at all?
How, can I, be there,
Why won't you care either?
What will you make of me,
Will I be peacefully sleeping?
What will you make of me,
Will I be haunting your thoughts,
A parasite of what I was?
Would you remember me?
Would you remember me?
Took apart my own form,
Pieced it back together,
More monster than before,
More monster than words could justly perform.
Monday, October 6, 2014
But I Still Won't Go Back
Catch that old familiar feeling,
Caught on the down wind,
Ain't no thing as a safe place.
I hear stories all the time,
About how people get involved,
I break records and pluck fresh from the vines.
Just to see how inclined with crime I can get.
I will never forget that old smell,
It lingers still on that shirt,
Remembrance of us raising hell,
And the devil nipping at our backs.
Catch that old familiar feeling,
Caught on the down wind of being human,
Ain't no thing as a safe place,
Ain't no thing as comfort.
I'll keep searching, and when I do,
I'll find it wandering in the deep black and blue.
But I won't call you, so we won't have to ask,
The same bullshit questions, in our minds that stack.
I lack apprehension, for a better me.
When lost in the mirror, cracks are all I see.
I make promises I always break,
They take away from the every now and then.
If only I knew what I do now then,
Maybe I would have broken more and said less.
At least then the excess of our spent emotion,
Would be so unhinged in the closure.
Can you find me now?
Did you hear what I said,
Did you see how I laid in the bed?
Can you dig in the ground?
As I lay, pretending to tend my own grave,
As I pray for an ease of memory.
I held you in my arms a final time that night,
Too bad that it all was a lie, it all was mine.
Caught on the down wind,
Ain't no thing as a safe place.
I hear stories all the time,
About how people get involved,
I break records and pluck fresh from the vines.
Just to see how inclined with crime I can get.
I will never forget that old smell,
It lingers still on that shirt,
Remembrance of us raising hell,
And the devil nipping at our backs.
Catch that old familiar feeling,
Caught on the down wind of being human,
Ain't no thing as a safe place,
Ain't no thing as comfort.
I'll keep searching, and when I do,
I'll find it wandering in the deep black and blue.
But I won't call you, so we won't have to ask,
The same bullshit questions, in our minds that stack.
I lack apprehension, for a better me.
When lost in the mirror, cracks are all I see.
I make promises I always break,
They take away from the every now and then.
If only I knew what I do now then,
Maybe I would have broken more and said less.
At least then the excess of our spent emotion,
Would be so unhinged in the closure.
Can you find me now?
Did you hear what I said,
Did you see how I laid in the bed?
Can you dig in the ground?
As I lay, pretending to tend my own grave,
As I pray for an ease of memory.
I held you in my arms a final time that night,
Too bad that it all was a lie, it all was mine.
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
If You Want Me To Slow Down
I could be curt,
and not cut you in line.
But when will I
Learn to justify,
That giving is as good as getting,
but you're not getting any better,
so why should I give at all?
I could pretend to let live,
And live with regret.
I could pretend that you had died.
That wouldn't change you or I,
This truth, a moth to flame,
Unwavering was my escape.
Got a good god damn job,
Got a cold fucking bed,
Just glad I got a place to lay my hot heaving head.
Got a stiffness to my breath,
Got a sickness stuck in my chest,
But hey, at least I had you...
And her, and she, and that bottle of booze,
The only one who misses me.
Don't worry, fine is how I feel all the time.
You can ask, just relax.
I'm fine, all the time now.
I'm fine, all the time, some how.
and not cut you in line.
But when will I
Learn to justify,
That giving is as good as getting,
but you're not getting any better,
so why should I give at all?
I could pretend to let live,
And live with regret.
I could pretend that you had died.
That wouldn't change you or I,
This truth, a moth to flame,
Unwavering was my escape.
Got a good god damn job,
Got a cold fucking bed,
Just glad I got a place to lay my hot heaving head.
Got a stiffness to my breath,
Got a sickness stuck in my chest,
But hey, at least I had you...
And her, and she, and that bottle of booze,
The only one who misses me.
Don't worry, fine is how I feel all the time.
You can ask, just relax.
I'm fine, all the time now.
I'm fine, all the time, some how.
Saturday, September 27, 2014
Gone, But Not Forgotten
Gone, but not forgotten.
It leaves a life sized wound.
I've dreamed,
Of squeezing it through.
Only a tar pit,
Could ever put me at ease.
The grand place of existence,
A high kept secret,
Amongst the small framed,
I am not afraid.
I can taste it,
A chemical change,
Oh why, do I,
Have to be burdened with,
Caring for you.
All I've got,
Is a heart filled with loss,
and everytime,
I drop a line,
To see how you are,
I remember the scars.
You say I love you,
At the end of every deep endearing phone call,
My body at the moment,
Rejects, wishing you could protect me,
From the demons that consume me.
I project,
An image of conforming,
To the idea,
That you'll be there,
No matter how unfair my mood might be.
But hey...
This was never about me,
I am a byproduct.
And I accept the ineptitude
Of my lackless gratitude,
To the granduer of all things great.
So let us pretend,
That the end,
Ain't as far as it is close.
Cause I am the best that you could do,
And when put to rest,
There is nothing left for us to do..
But accept this truth.
I love you too.
It leaves a life sized wound.
I've dreamed,
Of squeezing it through.
Only a tar pit,
Could ever put me at ease.
The grand place of existence,
A high kept secret,
Amongst the small framed,
I am not afraid.
I can taste it,
A chemical change,
Oh why, do I,
Have to be burdened with,
Caring for you.
All I've got,
Is a heart filled with loss,
and everytime,
I drop a line,
To see how you are,
I remember the scars.
You say I love you,
At the end of every deep endearing phone call,
My body at the moment,
Rejects, wishing you could protect me,
From the demons that consume me.
I project,
An image of conforming,
To the idea,
That you'll be there,
No matter how unfair my mood might be.
But hey...
This was never about me,
I am a byproduct.
And I accept the ineptitude
Of my lackless gratitude,
To the granduer of all things great.
So let us pretend,
That the end,
Ain't as far as it is close.
Cause I am the best that you could do,
And when put to rest,
There is nothing left for us to do..
But accept this truth.
I love you too.
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
To Plant a Seed
I can't wait to see,
All the things you'll do.
Learn from your mistakes,
Walk tall through the grass
And every eerie lake that you walk past.
Stronger than I,
I hope that when I die,
You can let go of my hand,
and put me to rest,
So I can watch what you will do best,
Deep beneath the hot weeping sands.
I fear that I'll fail,
I fear that you'll be,
What I most hated.
A kid with no love
Whose shadow always trailing,
Whose love willingly traded,
For another shot at danger,
regardless of what's at stake,
Seeking hate instead of saviors.
Happiness is not as far away as I'd like to think.
Maybe one day, I will show you the way,
To sleep soundly,
To think profoundly,
To love like no else does.
Maybe one day,
I can resurrect you from the grave,
That my love has made for you.
It was my fault too.
At least in my head,
You are alive and well,
Living life, raising hell.
At least in my head,
My head.
All the things you'll do.
Learn from your mistakes,
Walk tall through the grass
And every eerie lake that you walk past.
Stronger than I,
I hope that when I die,
You can let go of my hand,
and put me to rest,
So I can watch what you will do best,
Deep beneath the hot weeping sands.
I fear that I'll fail,
I fear that you'll be,
What I most hated.
A kid with no love
Whose shadow always trailing,
Whose love willingly traded,
For another shot at danger,
regardless of what's at stake,
Seeking hate instead of saviors.
Happiness is not as far away as I'd like to think.
Maybe one day, I will show you the way,
To sleep soundly,
To think profoundly,
To love like no else does.
Maybe one day,
I can resurrect you from the grave,
That my love has made for you.
It was my fault too.
At least in my head,
You are alive and well,
Living life, raising hell.
At least in my head,
My head.
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
Shaking Me Out of My Sleep
I'd stay,
If caving in was worth waiting.
I would pray,
If being forgiven was my number one.
I've lost my way, as I held my tongue.
This was not my idea,
Of having a good time.
But I left the alter,
In the nick, through the thick of things.
So cheers to the future us,
Maybe one of the two,
Will make a baby who,
Understands this deeply shallow life.
I've no clue,
Who I was when I was that dude.
I am running out of air to breathe,
But atleast I can come clean when I know I'm wrong,
The bridge we burned was never really that strong.
I'm the best I can be,
We are our best when we would leave things at rest.
And as we put the truth to test,
Slowing down was what worked out in the end.
My teeth dig in,
To the letter,
Every dotted i,
Every t crossed right.
Cheeks spread to show my grin yet,
I've got pressure holding my heavy chest down.
What a way to go,
At the edge of a sword.
At the end of a pen.
What a way to go,
To the end of the edge of the unknown.
The end of the edge of everything we know.
If caving in was worth waiting.
I would pray,
If being forgiven was my number one.
I've lost my way, as I held my tongue.
This was not my idea,
Of having a good time.
But I left the alter,
In the nick, through the thick of things.
So cheers to the future us,
Maybe one of the two,
Will make a baby who,
Understands this deeply shallow life.
I've no clue,
Who I was when I was that dude.
I am running out of air to breathe,
But atleast I can come clean when I know I'm wrong,
The bridge we burned was never really that strong.
I'm the best I can be,
We are our best when we would leave things at rest.
And as we put the truth to test,
Slowing down was what worked out in the end.
My teeth dig in,
To the letter,
Every dotted i,
Every t crossed right.
Cheeks spread to show my grin yet,
I've got pressure holding my heavy chest down.
What a way to go,
At the edge of a sword.
At the end of a pen.
What a way to go,
To the end of the edge of the unknown.
The end of the edge of everything we know.
Cut From Cardboard, Worn On the Sleeve
They always say the same thing,
When walking away from me.
Aren't we worth saving?
Wasn't this what dreamers dream about?
All those words of love now hurt,
When said aloud.
The truth always gets stuck inside of my mouth.
I remember, a time,
When "mine" meant something real.
Now when facing trial,
I stick to my guns and hold up denial,
Higher than hope, higher than trust.
Higher than the space created between us.
Weight of the anvil,
Shakes the top of the frame,
To the edges of the handle.
Mental states, rearranged.
Common places we'd like to escape.
I remember, that day,
When the clouds streaked across,
Cutting off everything my eyes searched for.
Anything to lose, that gaze you put fourth.
Weight of my breath,
Shaking my senses,
Stood still pretending,
That there were no fences.
I always said the same things,
To avoid my failings.
Am I worth saving?
I can't find you in my dreams,
But you'll always stay a secret in my sheets,
Warmed when underneath.
When walking away from me.
Aren't we worth saving?
Wasn't this what dreamers dream about?
All those words of love now hurt,
When said aloud.
The truth always gets stuck inside of my mouth.
I remember, a time,
When "mine" meant something real.
Now when facing trial,
I stick to my guns and hold up denial,
Higher than hope, higher than trust.
Higher than the space created between us.
Weight of the anvil,
Shakes the top of the frame,
To the edges of the handle.
Mental states, rearranged.
Common places we'd like to escape.
I remember, that day,
When the clouds streaked across,
Cutting off everything my eyes searched for.
Anything to lose, that gaze you put fourth.
Weight of my breath,
Shaking my senses,
Stood still pretending,
That there were no fences.
I always said the same things,
To avoid my failings.
Am I worth saving?
I can't find you in my dreams,
But you'll always stay a secret in my sheets,
Warmed when underneath.
Saturday, September 20, 2014
Yeah, What??
I'd kill to kill to be inside!
Even though hell is my reside.
You disappear, like a paper napkin.
I'm so deeply fashioned,
With a sense of pride a..
Girl. Ashley.
Emily, Brittany,Sidney,
Mara, Sarah, My kidneys,
Are you kidding me?
I always wonder what my excuse,
Will excuse me from.
Afraid to try,
Frayed to die.
I am the one who lies.
On the bed,
Of ice,
Although ties,
Keep on the fuckin' edge!
Who will help me get there?
A place so near?
Who will help me get close,
To those, who so dare to close,
On open space which you reside??
So what if I try?
So what if we don't fucking understand?
I would love to die.
I would love to die!
Yet I am the one who lies.
The one alive.
Whats to sate, the fucking taste.
I like what I do,
What is it to you?
Can I be,
What you want from me?
Can I be good?
Mis...UNDERSTOOD!
Even though hell is my reside.
You disappear, like a paper napkin.
I'm so deeply fashioned,
With a sense of pride a..
Girl. Ashley.
Emily, Brittany,Sidney,
Mara, Sarah, My kidneys,
Are you kidding me?
I always wonder what my excuse,
Will excuse me from.
Afraid to try,
Frayed to die.
I am the one who lies.
On the bed,
Of ice,
Although ties,
Keep on the fuckin' edge!
Who will help me get there?
A place so near?
Who will help me get close,
To those, who so dare to close,
On open space which you reside??
So what if I try?
So what if we don't fucking understand?
I would love to die.
I would love to die!
Yet I am the one who lies.
The one alive.
Whats to sate, the fucking taste.
I like what I do,
What is it to you?
Can I be,
What you want from me?
Can I be good?
Mis...UNDERSTOOD!
Friday, September 19, 2014
Always Us, Never Them
As a mountain,
I stood tall.
Conquering anything,
In my grasp.
As a flood,
I tore up,
The roots of once was
the great green grass.
Too many nights,
On cold hard ground.
Too many times,
Blacked out.
Light screaming through my eye lids,
Open them up to deal with what I did.
You always told me to slow down,
Before I got caught up choking, and now,
As the darkness has come,
I am undone. I am undone.
As a trail,
I gave way,
To every weary traveler
Every fleeting day.
As the wind,
I blew across each state,
Looking for purpose in my namesake.
Light screaming through my eye lids,
Open them up to deal with what I did.
You always held my hand,
Even as blood dripped to my disgust and,
The darkness has come once again,
Could never wash away the skeletons.
I am undone,
I am the only one.
I am alive,
Although I'd sacrifice
Given the chance to fly.
I stood tall.
Conquering anything,
In my grasp.
As a flood,
I tore up,
The roots of once was
the great green grass.
Too many nights,
On cold hard ground.
Too many times,
Blacked out.
Light screaming through my eye lids,
Open them up to deal with what I did.
You always told me to slow down,
Before I got caught up choking, and now,
As the darkness has come,
I am undone. I am undone.
As a trail,
I gave way,
To every weary traveler
Every fleeting day.
As the wind,
I blew across each state,
Looking for purpose in my namesake.
Light screaming through my eye lids,
Open them up to deal with what I did.
You always held my hand,
Even as blood dripped to my disgust and,
The darkness has come once again,
Could never wash away the skeletons.
I am undone,
I am the only one.
I am alive,
Although I'd sacrifice
Given the chance to fly.
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
I Bought My Thoughts From the Secret Shop
These are our churches.
Where we lay our heads when we feel worthless.
Our crutches at the edge of nervous,
Making sense of life's purpose.
In our own way,
We destroy and create,
Every moving part a piece,
Of a more vast deeper thing.
I could lose sleep,
I could lose time,
Irrelevant to what is actually mine.
Never hire a pyromaniac
To build your bridges.
If you fail to keep them intact,
Never look back as to not repeat the past.
I could lose sleep,
I could lose time,
None of it was ever actually mine.
Drinking alone,
Looking for someone new,
Getting used to the cold,
Unsure of what is and what isn't.
These are our churches,
Our own burning bridges.
These are our homes,
These are our homes.
I could lose sleep,
I could lose time,
Happily, on this path of mine.
Where we lay our heads when we feel worthless.
Our crutches at the edge of nervous,
Making sense of life's purpose.
In our own way,
We destroy and create,
Every moving part a piece,
Of a more vast deeper thing.
I could lose sleep,
I could lose time,
Irrelevant to what is actually mine.
Never hire a pyromaniac
To build your bridges.
If you fail to keep them intact,
Never look back as to not repeat the past.
I could lose sleep,
I could lose time,
None of it was ever actually mine.
Drinking alone,
Looking for someone new,
Getting used to the cold,
Unsure of what is and what isn't.
These are our churches,
Our own burning bridges.
These are our homes,
These are our homes.
I could lose sleep,
I could lose time,
Happily, on this path of mine.
Monday, September 15, 2014
In Through My Nose and Out of My Mouth
Losing sight, going blind,
Can't even sort out these blank thoughts of mine.
I bathe in the wake, taking up space.
Sacrificed light pales in persistence.
Speaking in tongues,
Crossing my fingers, numb.
Black thick taking names from up above,
As below us crumbles back to nothing, dust.
I wade through lakes of fire,
Trying to locate where you are.
Burdened by a heavy heart,
Given up everything I once was,
Just for one more taste of us.
I can see it taking a toll,
My skin in wrinkles.
My breath filled with smoke,
Choking on every line of a bad joke.
Count me in, I'm out of refrain.
I used to pretend to accept the disdain.
Where happiness was, a new picture I paint.
You look so pretty in your new grave,
Fingers engaged to hands not of my own.
Is it ok that "dead to me",
is all that you'll remember of me?
I think not, but I won't stop,
Even after I got caught,
My own worst critic,
Maybe one day it'll be ok just to visit.
Can't even sort out these blank thoughts of mine.
I bathe in the wake, taking up space.
Sacrificed light pales in persistence.
Speaking in tongues,
Crossing my fingers, numb.
Black thick taking names from up above,
As below us crumbles back to nothing, dust.
I wade through lakes of fire,
Trying to locate where you are.
Burdened by a heavy heart,
Given up everything I once was,
Just for one more taste of us.
I can see it taking a toll,
My skin in wrinkles.
My breath filled with smoke,
Choking on every line of a bad joke.
Count me in, I'm out of refrain.
I used to pretend to accept the disdain.
Where happiness was, a new picture I paint.
You look so pretty in your new grave,
Fingers engaged to hands not of my own.
Is it ok that "dead to me",
is all that you'll remember of me?
I think not, but I won't stop,
Even after I got caught,
My own worst critic,
Maybe one day it'll be ok just to visit.
American Terrorist
Can you hear it now?
The beat of bleeding wings.
Crashing through the clouds,
A reckoning we bring to ears on the ground.
Can you feel the sounds?
The death of children slash the dirt.
Racking up the toll of death,
Till the tears dry from the women wept.
Can you taste the blood?
Replacing thoughts with thick imagery.
Hollowed shells of once proud people,
Digging in the sands for a chance to be equal.
Can you hear it now?
Unraveling the mysteries of histories long ago.
Changing pages of the ages with a murder of drones.
Don't have to care, as long as we condone.
This is what our children will know,
That we condemned innocents for a way of living.
When they wander the empty streets
Trying to find something packaged to eat.
This is what they will know.
As they march to the drums we've beaten to and fro.
The beat of bleeding wings.
Crashing through the clouds,
A reckoning we bring to ears on the ground.
Can you feel the sounds?
The death of children slash the dirt.
Racking up the toll of death,
Till the tears dry from the women wept.
Can you taste the blood?
Replacing thoughts with thick imagery.
Hollowed shells of once proud people,
Digging in the sands for a chance to be equal.
Can you hear it now?
Unraveling the mysteries of histories long ago.
Changing pages of the ages with a murder of drones.
Don't have to care, as long as we condone.
This is what our children will know,
That we condemned innocents for a way of living.
When they wander the empty streets
Trying to find something packaged to eat.
This is what they will know.
As they march to the drums we've beaten to and fro.
Friday, September 12, 2014
All the Difference (You've Made)
Took a page out of memory lane,
Written by an ink master with no name.
You've seen every shade of me,
From my darkest hour, to my lightest fifteen minutes of fame,
In which I displayed not a shred of resemblance to shame.
Yesterday there was a man,
Who was walking on the opposite side of the street.
I thought to myself, has he seen hell like me?
But who knows what the fuck that really means.
No one is perfect,
Yet we pretend that faking it is worth it.
So I hang my head, in hopes,
That in the end, I'll let it all go.
Struggling with words on the edge of my phone,
Yeah maybe one day, we will let it go,
But who really knows?
I saw someone, whose face reflecting
A flickering trace of my own distaste for being alive.
To my surprise, I bared my teeth,
Laughing it off as we passed sleeve to sleeve.
No one is perfect,
Yet you can catch me pretending that faking it
Will fill me with something else than my own shit.
You can try to get the bottle out of my mouth,
But I always find a way to keep it off the ground.
Liquor perfume, tainted scent of cigarettes.
My choice of "Go fuck yourself" and forget.
Where has all the time went?
Yesterday I had it all figured out,
Had no incentives nor doubts.
Would have given away ever dollar to my name,
For value is placed only in the things you choose to lose,
Unfortunately all I'm losing is myself.
Written by an ink master with no name.
You've seen every shade of me,
From my darkest hour, to my lightest fifteen minutes of fame,
In which I displayed not a shred of resemblance to shame.
Yesterday there was a man,
Who was walking on the opposite side of the street.
I thought to myself, has he seen hell like me?
But who knows what the fuck that really means.
No one is perfect,
Yet we pretend that faking it is worth it.
So I hang my head, in hopes,
That in the end, I'll let it all go.
Struggling with words on the edge of my phone,
Yeah maybe one day, we will let it go,
But who really knows?
I saw someone, whose face reflecting
A flickering trace of my own distaste for being alive.
To my surprise, I bared my teeth,
Laughing it off as we passed sleeve to sleeve.
No one is perfect,
Yet you can catch me pretending that faking it
Will fill me with something else than my own shit.
You can try to get the bottle out of my mouth,
But I always find a way to keep it off the ground.
Liquor perfume, tainted scent of cigarettes.
My choice of "Go fuck yourself" and forget.
Where has all the time went?
Yesterday I had it all figured out,
Had no incentives nor doubts.
Would have given away ever dollar to my name,
For value is placed only in the things you choose to lose,
Unfortunately all I'm losing is myself.
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
It Goes A Little Like This
We all go around,
Getting spat out,
Worse than we have before,
Life ain't a breeze,
At least that's the way it seems to be.
I love you, she loves him,
My head is spinning,
Everyone's grinning,
Woe is me!
Get your ass to work,
Proper like, it's time for church.
What did I do wrong?
I've barely started singing my song.
Sorry dear, we humans were born to pray,
Or at least that's what they say!
We all go around,
Getting spat out,
Worse than we have before
Keys are tossed, I've locked the door!
Can someone tell me please,
Why we, are perspiring,
To live in circles?
Nothing makes sense,
Of course except acceptance.
But it leaves you perplexed,
The mystery is what comes next,
But cash the check,
It's heaven sent!
Don't you dare put me in the fucking ground!
Life ain't a breeze,
At least that's the way it seems to be.
If I say that I love you, could you love me too?
Getting spat out,
Worse than we have before,
Life ain't a breeze,
At least that's the way it seems to be.
I love you, she loves him,
My head is spinning,
Everyone's grinning,
Woe is me!
Get your ass to work,
Proper like, it's time for church.
What did I do wrong?
I've barely started singing my song.
Sorry dear, we humans were born to pray,
Or at least that's what they say!
We all go around,
Getting spat out,
Worse than we have before
Keys are tossed, I've locked the door!
Can someone tell me please,
Why we, are perspiring,
To live in circles?
Nothing makes sense,
Of course except acceptance.
But it leaves you perplexed,
The mystery is what comes next,
But cash the check,
It's heaven sent!
Don't you dare put me in the fucking ground!
Life ain't a breeze,
At least that's the way it seems to be.
If I say that I love you, could you love me too?
Wednesday, September 3, 2014
Woe to Thee
All the hooks, all the stains in the satin books.
I was told as a child by adult crooks,
The thieves of my childhood.
That we are victims of tireless atrocities,
Brought to our knee's by an elite company.
Told me I was free, as long as I could think and believe.
What was it that was so difficult to understand?
Monuments and pages of writ,
Records of the wit of countless tyrants.
People bent on days hell spent,
Enslaving to breed comatose beings.
Whose choices bleed to the finer things,
Such as eating and sleeping in a place
Called home, something sacred,
Somewhere we can all go when we are defeated
And alone.
Something undiscovered, unknown.
What was it that made them so cold?
Love like a cool breeze in the desert heat.
A rarity in the violence of our past.
Something which has caught up quite too fast.
I'd like to safely step outside,
Not wondering who dare wants to take my precious life.
I don't care if it isn't special to you,
But I can tell you this,
Whether you are lost and in pain,
Or completely happy with your life, mundane.
I would love you all the same.
Is it too much to ask?
That even on our worst days, to extend a lending hand?
There's a lot to say about an open arm and an empty wallet.
We aren't the skeletons we keep secret in our closets.
At least the way I see life, it's as easy as pie.
A saying I never truly understood,
Until the day my mother spoke a few mystifying words.
I'd love you even if you wished for me to die.
Something that I, still struggle to accept,
But perhaps I can comprehend yet, in death.
I was told as a child by adult crooks,
The thieves of my childhood.
That we are victims of tireless atrocities,
Brought to our knee's by an elite company.
Told me I was free, as long as I could think and believe.
What was it that was so difficult to understand?
Monuments and pages of writ,
Records of the wit of countless tyrants.
People bent on days hell spent,
Enslaving to breed comatose beings.
Whose choices bleed to the finer things,
Such as eating and sleeping in a place
Called home, something sacred,
Somewhere we can all go when we are defeated
And alone.
Something undiscovered, unknown.
What was it that made them so cold?
Love like a cool breeze in the desert heat.
A rarity in the violence of our past.
Something which has caught up quite too fast.
I'd like to safely step outside,
Not wondering who dare wants to take my precious life.
I don't care if it isn't special to you,
But I can tell you this,
Whether you are lost and in pain,
Or completely happy with your life, mundane.
I would love you all the same.
Is it too much to ask?
That even on our worst days, to extend a lending hand?
There's a lot to say about an open arm and an empty wallet.
We aren't the skeletons we keep secret in our closets.
At least the way I see life, it's as easy as pie.
A saying I never truly understood,
Until the day my mother spoke a few mystifying words.
I'd love you even if you wished for me to die.
Something that I, still struggle to accept,
But perhaps I can comprehend yet, in death.
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
Latitudes and Longitudes
I
I'm on a map
I'm on a map
I
I wanna get
I wanna get that
Get that
Far away
But I,
I've got these legs
Sea legs, yeah
I
I'm always broken
Hoping
To change
I
I'm on a map
I'm on a map
I
I wanna get that
Get that
Far away
I'm on a map,
On a map
I wanna get that
Get that,
Far
Far away
But I
I've got these legs
No way, today,
Broken
I'm open, to stay
Ain't it the same anyway?
I'm on a map
I'm on a map
I
I wanna get
I wanna get that
Get that
Far away
But I,
I've got these legs
Sea legs, yeah
I
I'm always broken
Hoping
To change
I
I'm on a map
I'm on a map
I
I wanna get that
Get that
Far away
I'm on a map,
On a map
I wanna get that
Get that,
Far
Far away
But I
I've got these legs
No way, today,
Broken
I'm open, to stay
Ain't it the same anyway?
Friday, August 22, 2014
Molotov Holocaust
Prison pistol head banger,
Got wet starring off a cliff hanger
Got wads of cash to wipe my ass with,
Look in the trash for my stash of dime bag bitches.
Got told twice, woke up glad with the stitches!
Oh my god what a concept,
I bit the hand that had the best chemicals,
Now I trail off the edge with sawed off testicles,
Jokes made, don't make quick with the spectacles.
I jumped first, gun in hand, made demands.
At first glance everything seemed irrational,
To no surprise, my demise came quite fashionable.
Left over scab picked to bleed just to see what it feels like to me!
Unbeknownst pain was a pleasure, clever endeavors of pulling levers,
I lap up the blood with my bittersweet tongue, at least that's what I'm told!
Black out knight, boiling pot scolds. Empty bottle, hollow shell, what the hell!
Backed out fights, spoiling bought golds. Empty bottle, hollow shell, what the hell!
Time an irrelevancy, sifting through muddled piss.
God what I'd give to get a whiff of justice.
Doesn't seem to be a thing I can achieve,
Hallway screams of bruising and shattered teeth,
Can't believe I could even stay asleep,
As the stains creep along the walls!
Got caught making love again,
I've never felt so upset,
I never wanted to smell the sweat,
The noises play but make no sense!
Got caught making love again,
I've never felt so upset,
The noises play but make no sense!
Got wet starring off a cliff hanger
Got wads of cash to wipe my ass with,
Look in the trash for my stash of dime bag bitches.
Got told twice, woke up glad with the stitches!
Oh my god what a concept,
I bit the hand that had the best chemicals,
Now I trail off the edge with sawed off testicles,
Jokes made, don't make quick with the spectacles.
I jumped first, gun in hand, made demands.
At first glance everything seemed irrational,
To no surprise, my demise came quite fashionable.
Left over scab picked to bleed just to see what it feels like to me!
Unbeknownst pain was a pleasure, clever endeavors of pulling levers,
I lap up the blood with my bittersweet tongue, at least that's what I'm told!
Black out knight, boiling pot scolds. Empty bottle, hollow shell, what the hell!
Backed out fights, spoiling bought golds. Empty bottle, hollow shell, what the hell!
Time an irrelevancy, sifting through muddled piss.
God what I'd give to get a whiff of justice.
Doesn't seem to be a thing I can achieve,
Hallway screams of bruising and shattered teeth,
Can't believe I could even stay asleep,
As the stains creep along the walls!
Got caught making love again,
I've never felt so upset,
I never wanted to smell the sweat,
The noises play but make no sense!
Got caught making love again,
I've never felt so upset,
The noises play but make no sense!
Friday, August 15, 2014
Hannibal Lecter's Last Letter of Lecture
Contorted corpses lip less,
Stinkin' like horse shit in my basement.
Last saw light beamin' off a spaceship,
Fuck your words! Complacent and ancient sanctions.
Essential prevention to the industry,
Hypo-critic, faux generic, meticulytes,
Stitch your face shut, gettin' high on satellites!
Awkward proposal of ingenuity,
Skinless and limbless, you look so pathetic,
Aggressive, suggestive, you're like a diarrhetic!
Got a fat lip from callin' all the shots.
Got a lot of piss to twist and turn the knobs.
Got sick from an insistent slobbing twat,
Well guess what, I like to freeze.
Gonna burn the bridge anyway I please!
I heard that the pickens are easy,
So ripe I get hyped just with the thought,
So steer clear of the knee's before she see's me,
Got a lot to say but I'll stop, I'll stop and relay!
Birds and the bee's sure do love to play!
Get your hands off my hands,
But please please me ma'am!
Get your back back on the bed,
Love it when you smile as your legs spread!
Curtain call, takin' off my overalls!
Raped for my crops by non stop big wigs,
Felt so great, couldn't even keep my dick stiff.
Holy shit, give me a break.
Where's the love and hate, where's my escape?
Shock value is all I got, as the sheep herd
to the killing plots!
Stinkin' like horse shit in my basement.
Last saw light beamin' off a spaceship,
Fuck your words! Complacent and ancient sanctions.
Essential prevention to the industry,
Hypo-critic, faux generic, meticulytes,
Stitch your face shut, gettin' high on satellites!
Awkward proposal of ingenuity,
Skinless and limbless, you look so pathetic,
Aggressive, suggestive, you're like a diarrhetic!
Got a fat lip from callin' all the shots.
Got a lot of piss to twist and turn the knobs.
Got sick from an insistent slobbing twat,
Well guess what, I like to freeze.
Gonna burn the bridge anyway I please!
I heard that the pickens are easy,
So ripe I get hyped just with the thought,
So steer clear of the knee's before she see's me,
Got a lot to say but I'll stop, I'll stop and relay!
Birds and the bee's sure do love to play!
Get your hands off my hands,
But please please me ma'am!
Get your back back on the bed,
Love it when you smile as your legs spread!
Curtain call, takin' off my overalls!
Raped for my crops by non stop big wigs,
Felt so great, couldn't even keep my dick stiff.
Holy shit, give me a break.
Where's the love and hate, where's my escape?
Shock value is all I got, as the sheep herd
to the killing plots!
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
Lavender Child
There's something in the water.
There's something in the air.
Something unfamiliar,
Something over there.
With a crooked finger,
Nose turned to the sky,
A scent so sweetly lingers,
A gleam to catch my eye.
Hidden by oaken strangers,
Far from visions peak,
Through the mountains under,
There's a darkness that seeps.
What has awoken me from slumber,
Blinded by a weary state.
Not rain nor thunder, snow or sleet,
Could have awoken me from my deep sleep.
There's something in the water,
There's something in the air.
Something unfamiliar,
Through twisted tree's it stares.
Is it beast or demon
Alive or dead?
I hear it breathing
Lamenting blood shed.
Guts spoiled, heart beating on hinges.
Head hot, fist clenched, grim cringes.
I thrust into the under brush,
Daggers drawn, the moment rushed,
Held my tongue, as there it was.
So close, but not close enough!
Back through the woods,
Back to the lake.
I lay my head once more,
Waiting for the bait.
There's something in the air.
Something unfamiliar,
Something over there.
With a crooked finger,
Nose turned to the sky,
A scent so sweetly lingers,
A gleam to catch my eye.
Hidden by oaken strangers,
Far from visions peak,
Through the mountains under,
There's a darkness that seeps.
What has awoken me from slumber,
Blinded by a weary state.
Not rain nor thunder, snow or sleet,
Could have awoken me from my deep sleep.
There's something in the water,
There's something in the air.
Something unfamiliar,
Through twisted tree's it stares.
Is it beast or demon
Alive or dead?
I hear it breathing
Lamenting blood shed.
Guts spoiled, heart beating on hinges.
Head hot, fist clenched, grim cringes.
I thrust into the under brush,
Daggers drawn, the moment rushed,
Held my tongue, as there it was.
So close, but not close enough!
Back through the woods,
Back to the lake.
I lay my head once more,
Waiting for the bait.
Monday, August 11, 2014
The Jester and the King
Take what I can from the daylight,
Gotta find the humor in the bad things,
Gotta find a way to stay happy.
Don't mind giving back, give you all my time.
All I ask, is that we kick back like we always do,
Killin' it, chillin', livin' with love on those lazy days,
the hardest part is waking up, we make the biggest mistakes.
It ain't about falling down, it's about keeping solid ground.
Keep your word, stay true, don't forget what we been through.
I stay hung up on what we've built,
Empty handed, no dollar bills,
Just cheap drinks and good company.
If you put your trust in me, I do the same,
That way when we face the good fight,
We know our true side, cause when we die,
I'll be holding tight, steady eyed,
Knowing all along, that the price was right.
It ain't about falling down, it's about keeping solid ground.
Keep your word, stay true, don't forget what we been through.
I got bruises heavy, head injuries, plenty.
Seen my fair share of world class nightmares.
But I got this old boy, he got my back.
When the bullets spread, he's on attack.
Give me what he has, fat stacks, thirty racks.
No matter the objections, his soul forever projecting,
All I see is streams of gold, worth protecting.
I know when this skin crumbles back to the earth,
This fire will burn, and all the people who hurt will learn,
That some things will never change.
Let go, echo, I said let go.
It all ends one day, might as well be happy.
Let go, echo, I said let go.
Might as well be happy, each chapter, an aftermath of mapping.
Gotta find the humor in the bad things,
Gotta find a way to stay happy.
Don't mind giving back, give you all my time.
All I ask, is that we kick back like we always do,
Killin' it, chillin', livin' with love on those lazy days,
the hardest part is waking up, we make the biggest mistakes.
It ain't about falling down, it's about keeping solid ground.
Keep your word, stay true, don't forget what we been through.
I stay hung up on what we've built,
Empty handed, no dollar bills,
Just cheap drinks and good company.
If you put your trust in me, I do the same,
That way when we face the good fight,
We know our true side, cause when we die,
I'll be holding tight, steady eyed,
Knowing all along, that the price was right.
It ain't about falling down, it's about keeping solid ground.
Keep your word, stay true, don't forget what we been through.
I got bruises heavy, head injuries, plenty.
Seen my fair share of world class nightmares.
But I got this old boy, he got my back.
When the bullets spread, he's on attack.
Give me what he has, fat stacks, thirty racks.
No matter the objections, his soul forever projecting,
All I see is streams of gold, worth protecting.
I know when this skin crumbles back to the earth,
This fire will burn, and all the people who hurt will learn,
That some things will never change.
Let go, echo, I said let go.
It all ends one day, might as well be happy.
Let go, echo, I said let go.
Might as well be happy, each chapter, an aftermath of mapping.
Space Bag to the Last Drag
It would have been so easy to change.
What lurked inside had wanted me to stay.
Misery takes and gives to the betrayed.
I took what I could from my mistakes,
so maybe one day the mirror on the wall,
won't keep me in place, feeling so small.
Push for a chance to rearrange the words.
Make them bold make them sting,
Hot, scolding, covering everything,
Put the curse in reverse, pulled out by a string.
Look at it, look at it, feel the dramatics.
I've had it with accidents, chasing things that don't make sense.
Pendulum swing, repetitious dreams.
What is this vile feeling, thought I'd die before ever truly healing.
Have another drink while I wait for the ceiling to cave in.
Sometimes a well placed fuck is in order.
I prefer the room with cigarette stench for borders.
Whore matters not, as every key seems to turn her precious lock.
Sex always in stock at her tiny shanty shop.
Don't mind the clock as the sweat drops.
Need a home to crawl into, a deep dark hole that swallows.
Where the noise of the night life isn't muddled
by the strife of violent struggles.
Where the people share love instead of dissatisfaction of never having enough.
Trust when I say that this place does exist,
spoken from the cold lips of a mistress myth.
What lurked inside had wanted me to stay.
Misery takes and gives to the betrayed.
I took what I could from my mistakes,
so maybe one day the mirror on the wall,
won't keep me in place, feeling so small.
Push for a chance to rearrange the words.
Make them bold make them sting,
Hot, scolding, covering everything,
Put the curse in reverse, pulled out by a string.
Look at it, look at it, feel the dramatics.
I've had it with accidents, chasing things that don't make sense.
Pendulum swing, repetitious dreams.
What is this vile feeling, thought I'd die before ever truly healing.
Have another drink while I wait for the ceiling to cave in.
Sometimes a well placed fuck is in order.
I prefer the room with cigarette stench for borders.
Whore matters not, as every key seems to turn her precious lock.
Sex always in stock at her tiny shanty shop.
Don't mind the clock as the sweat drops.
Need a home to crawl into, a deep dark hole that swallows.
Where the noise of the night life isn't muddled
by the strife of violent struggles.
Where the people share love instead of dissatisfaction of never having enough.
Trust when I say that this place does exist,
spoken from the cold lips of a mistress myth.
Friday, August 8, 2014
I Saw the Cracks In Your Skin
Go back to sleep, forging ahead, a new reality.
Slipping between the sheets of distant freaks,
I get weak when I think about losing you.
Sweat on your forehead, scratches on my back,
Proof that we both lack self control.
I'll stay hidden away next to the door, head on the floor.
Next thing you know, I start saying things I don't mean.
Next thing we know, you're begging me not to leave.
I once treasured the thought of faith,
I left it behind when my god watched me burn alive.
I wasn't expecting you to look so good in the light,
I wasn't expecting to give a shit, shell shocked when I did.
Why did you feel so safe in my arms, why did I run so far.
We try so hard, just to fall apart, but that is the art, of breaking hearts.
I get inpatient, complacent and angry,
When I lay alone and wonder who's taking my place.
Even though my bed burns red hot, I want what I cannot have,
Being human has always made me laugh.
Maybe we can take hold, to break the mold.
Get out of the confines we needed socially,
So maybe finally you won't fear approaching me.
I like when these ghosts are choking me,
It's more real than numbing my mind to the lies
I have been force fed my entire life.
Hold onto pleasure like there's nothing else,
We never change, frozen, still framed.
It's a damn shame that this is the game we play,
Maybe one day, we can envision a place where our children can lay
And admire our struggles, One day, we can pray.
Slipping between the sheets of distant freaks,
I get weak when I think about losing you.
Sweat on your forehead, scratches on my back,
Proof that we both lack self control.
I'll stay hidden away next to the door, head on the floor.
Next thing you know, I start saying things I don't mean.
Next thing we know, you're begging me not to leave.
I once treasured the thought of faith,
I left it behind when my god watched me burn alive.
I wasn't expecting you to look so good in the light,
I wasn't expecting to give a shit, shell shocked when I did.
Why did you feel so safe in my arms, why did I run so far.
We try so hard, just to fall apart, but that is the art, of breaking hearts.
I get inpatient, complacent and angry,
When I lay alone and wonder who's taking my place.
Even though my bed burns red hot, I want what I cannot have,
Being human has always made me laugh.
Maybe we can take hold, to break the mold.
Get out of the confines we needed socially,
So maybe finally you won't fear approaching me.
I like when these ghosts are choking me,
It's more real than numbing my mind to the lies
I have been force fed my entire life.
Hold onto pleasure like there's nothing else,
We never change, frozen, still framed.
It's a damn shame that this is the game we play,
Maybe one day, we can envision a place where our children can lay
And admire our struggles, One day, we can pray.
Ah, Chloroform, My Favorite Cologne
I fall to depths of descension
Clawing forth through deaths dimension
Awkward mannequins, desperate for attention
But I, know that time, is the master here.
Skin peels as the smoke clears.
The crown has an overbearing smell,
Thick with thorns and blood,
Boils thick resentment, makes me sick, acceptance.
Who were you when we left it for dead,
Just like the evidence that slept on your bed.
Never had the pleasure of cutting deep into the skin.
Musing a smile as each breath takes its' toll.
Guess consistency can cause a seizure in the prophecy,
Guess there's no harm in bending your arms, gritting my teeth
at the sounding alarms.
Wrenched open your chest, to see what's inside.
To my surprise, I felt the beating of something alive.
It was hard to uncover, buried in lies, but what I liked most,
Is the fact that it was quite cold.
Cliche organs, mindless orphans, failed abortions.
Life is a funny thing to cling onto, when everyone around you,
Wants what you have, I am guilty, I am.
Frenzied with lust, drink till unconscious.
Let me break my own hands, took what I wanted,
Regardless of right and wrong, I see black and white.
I fucked away my trophy wife, I licked my lips
At the slightest sight of healthy hips.
Bury the stranger, avoid all the danger, let out your anger.
Gentle one, it's ok to feel, don't go numb.
Quite one, it's ok to scream, don't you worry about a thing.
Bury the stranger, become a god, avoid the danger of playing along.
Clawing forth through deaths dimension
Awkward mannequins, desperate for attention
But I, know that time, is the master here.
Skin peels as the smoke clears.
The crown has an overbearing smell,
Thick with thorns and blood,
Boils thick resentment, makes me sick, acceptance.
Who were you when we left it for dead,
Just like the evidence that slept on your bed.
Never had the pleasure of cutting deep into the skin.
Musing a smile as each breath takes its' toll.
Guess consistency can cause a seizure in the prophecy,
Guess there's no harm in bending your arms, gritting my teeth
at the sounding alarms.
Wrenched open your chest, to see what's inside.
To my surprise, I felt the beating of something alive.
It was hard to uncover, buried in lies, but what I liked most,
Is the fact that it was quite cold.
Cliche organs, mindless orphans, failed abortions.
Life is a funny thing to cling onto, when everyone around you,
Wants what you have, I am guilty, I am.
Frenzied with lust, drink till unconscious.
Let me break my own hands, took what I wanted,
Regardless of right and wrong, I see black and white.
I fucked away my trophy wife, I licked my lips
At the slightest sight of healthy hips.
Bury the stranger, avoid all the danger, let out your anger.
Gentle one, it's ok to feel, don't go numb.
Quite one, it's ok to scream, don't you worry about a thing.
Bury the stranger, become a god, avoid the danger of playing along.
Saturday, August 2, 2014
Up Against the Ropes (We're Already Dead!)
Pitty pot, you got lost receiving props.
Who is my mom, and where is my pops?
Who gave authorities legal cause
To search and destroy my scheming plot
Trickle effect, gave birth to a reject
Who tries to make sense with a piece of wood
and a Pen. What is his defect, I seem to recollect
His eclectic sense of emergency.
It's tied deeply to his wounds,
Scars he earned in the womb.
Piss on the poor, smoke all the drugs,
We are immune to death from above.
Satanic hopes, and angelic flaws,
Dig in deep, and wait for the pause.
Spread the race thick,
Till the lines of the earth are laced with
The scum of our genetic basis.
Eat till you puke, kill and abuse,
The lessons of society,
I hold em' tight against the light
Till they lose sight of me.
Covered in shit, Oh "God All Mighty".
We got a long way to go,
We got a long way to go,
I hope you know what really grows
Underneath your feet,
Through the slick of your soles,
Through the rips in your rolls.
Hold onto that rope, tight around a neck, choke.
Who is my mom, and where is my pops?
Who gave authorities legal cause
To search and destroy my scheming plot
Trickle effect, gave birth to a reject
Who tries to make sense with a piece of wood
and a Pen. What is his defect, I seem to recollect
His eclectic sense of emergency.
It's tied deeply to his wounds,
Scars he earned in the womb.
Piss on the poor, smoke all the drugs,
We are immune to death from above.
Satanic hopes, and angelic flaws,
Dig in deep, and wait for the pause.
Spread the race thick,
Till the lines of the earth are laced with
The scum of our genetic basis.
Eat till you puke, kill and abuse,
The lessons of society,
I hold em' tight against the light
Till they lose sight of me.
Covered in shit, Oh "God All Mighty".
We got a long way to go,
We got a long way to go,
I hope you know what really grows
Underneath your feet,
Through the slick of your soles,
Through the rips in your rolls.
Hold onto that rope, tight around a neck, choke.
Saturday, July 26, 2014
Catalytic Converter Nerf Herder
A lot of things got in the way,
Try to make time to take away,
Breathing in the crystals,
Paint holes in my hands and feet,
Walkin' on the water, drinkin' all the wine,
Unknown they were tears of a prophet,
Emptied golden goblet, all cause was lost for a moment.
Parachute tablets, eat food and fuck like rabbits.
Don't get too angsty, watch the box that haunts the graves.
Don't ask question or misbehave.
We might label you terrorist,
As oil spills from your veins and slit wrists.
Listen to the pain buried deep in the sand.
Play the victim, insist on a system
where it's ok to chop off your hands!
Eager to be apart of industry,
When things go awry,
Bend those knees' and find your god.
Before death, all there was, was loss!
Parasitic ties keep a united criminal fan base.
Give me the quick acting hard hitting candied bandage.
I wanna sell my soul for another hit,
Never mind my purpose, never mind my drive.
I want something to fill me up with light.
The basis is strictly sadistic,
That's ok, I don't mind, I've never been so high!
A lot of things got in the way,
Try to make time to take it all away,
Breathed in the crystals,
Heavy handed pistol,
Where am I supposed to exist?
In between the seams of a drunken fist.
Try to make time to take away,
Breathing in the crystals,
Paint holes in my hands and feet,
Walkin' on the water, drinkin' all the wine,
Unknown they were tears of a prophet,
Emptied golden goblet, all cause was lost for a moment.
Parachute tablets, eat food and fuck like rabbits.
Don't get too angsty, watch the box that haunts the graves.
Don't ask question or misbehave.
We might label you terrorist,
As oil spills from your veins and slit wrists.
Listen to the pain buried deep in the sand.
Play the victim, insist on a system
where it's ok to chop off your hands!
Eager to be apart of industry,
When things go awry,
Bend those knees' and find your god.
Before death, all there was, was loss!
Parasitic ties keep a united criminal fan base.
Give me the quick acting hard hitting candied bandage.
I wanna sell my soul for another hit,
Never mind my purpose, never mind my drive.
I want something to fill me up with light.
The basis is strictly sadistic,
That's ok, I don't mind, I've never been so high!
A lot of things got in the way,
Try to make time to take it all away,
Breathed in the crystals,
Heavy handed pistol,
Where am I supposed to exist?
In between the seams of a drunken fist.
Friday, July 25, 2014
Fact Based Fiction, Slick Friction
Put the soap in a box.
Clean out your drums,
Listen hard, alert fox.
Rat tunnel in my intestine,
Who to trust to distribute justice.
I heard that blame is a common first name.
Last letter on a page, burned at the stake.
Who to trust to erase all the pain of memory.
Walking down the lanes, I remebered where empty.
Rotting in the cellar, skeletons antiseptic.
Can't get sick from digested bones,
Better get quick with a finger,
Grab a phone, and let go of the trigger.
Area code six six six,
Screaming demon needs to get his fix.
Age is no question, clock says molested.
Little did we know that most kill to just be accepted.
Let the blood flow as your ego gets rejected.
Daggers leave a foaming mouth,
As anger fills the basin of no return.
Waves of doubt clash on the bridge, burnt.
People versus people till ignorance is spread equal.
Who do we trust to herd the sheep?
I don't even trust the Jesus who walks on my dreams.
Plagued education, my minds' on vacation,
Leave your message at the beep, cut the chord, hear the screams.
Who do we trust? Suck in those guts, oh boy ain't I pretty enough?
Clean out your drums,
Listen hard, alert fox.
Rat tunnel in my intestine,
Who to trust to distribute justice.
I heard that blame is a common first name.
Last letter on a page, burned at the stake.
Who to trust to erase all the pain of memory.
Walking down the lanes, I remebered where empty.
Rotting in the cellar, skeletons antiseptic.
Can't get sick from digested bones,
Better get quick with a finger,
Grab a phone, and let go of the trigger.
Area code six six six,
Screaming demon needs to get his fix.
Age is no question, clock says molested.
Little did we know that most kill to just be accepted.
Let the blood flow as your ego gets rejected.
Daggers leave a foaming mouth,
As anger fills the basin of no return.
Waves of doubt clash on the bridge, burnt.
People versus people till ignorance is spread equal.
Who do we trust to herd the sheep?
I don't even trust the Jesus who walks on my dreams.
Plagued education, my minds' on vacation,
Leave your message at the beep, cut the chord, hear the screams.
Who do we trust? Suck in those guts, oh boy ain't I pretty enough?
Thursday, July 24, 2014
Visions
I know I will see you again.
Like two sparks of light,
Burst from the same plane,
and in the night,
we will stumble around the room,
Looking for me, and you.
Home, not a place but a choice.
Anywhere there is space for two,
In the vastness of time,
I'll be there holding a sign,
For me and for you.
The stars will align.
I know I will see you again.
It was something you said.
It hasn't even been a week,
and I already have feelings of need.
Never goodbye, but I'll see you around.
Around the bend.
There's a place where we had met,
Before Earth was our set.
It was staged light years behind us,
And centuries ahead.
A hand guiding two brave souls,
Brought to the dirt with scars of Hell.
With peace and love as our bindings,
There was never a place worth hiding.
Maybe we can show our people,
How to be free.
Maybe we can encourage the world,
That there's more to life than greed.
There's more to life than struggle,
It's our future as it always has been.
If we lose sight this time,
We can always start again.
From our heads to our hearts end.
Like we have done at the edge of beginning,
I know I will see you again.
Like two sparks of light,
Burst from the same plane,
and in the night,
we will stumble around the room,
Looking for me, and you.
Home, not a place but a choice.
Anywhere there is space for two,
In the vastness of time,
I'll be there holding a sign,
For me and for you.
The stars will align.
I know I will see you again.
It was something you said.
It hasn't even been a week,
and I already have feelings of need.
Never goodbye, but I'll see you around.
Around the bend.
There's a place where we had met,
Before Earth was our set.
It was staged light years behind us,
And centuries ahead.
A hand guiding two brave souls,
Brought to the dirt with scars of Hell.
With peace and love as our bindings,
There was never a place worth hiding.
Maybe we can show our people,
How to be free.
Maybe we can encourage the world,
That there's more to life than greed.
There's more to life than struggle,
It's our future as it always has been.
If we lose sight this time,
We can always start again.
From our heads to our hearts end.
Like we have done at the edge of beginning,
I know I will see you again.
Monday, July 21, 2014
People Are Products with Pretension and Egos
It's funny how, people act,
When all you can see is their back's.
Yeah, what did you think,
That I didn't hear?
I heard every word, that you had said.
It's funny how, people are,
When things get hard.
Yeah, what did you think,
That I didn't see?
All those things, you tried to steal from me.
It's funny how, people seem,
When you first meet.
Yeah, what did you think,
That you are smart, and beautiful?
Aren't we all created equal?
Tell that to the slaves.
Tell that to the graves.
Tell that to the dead whose souls were bled for gold and fistfuls of discred.
Tell that to the greed.
Tell that to the power hungry thieves.
Tell that to the kids in the beds of the rapists dens.
To the women on their backs, providing for children
That should have never been born, mark it on your tax form.
Tell it to a world filled with blank faces
as bank statements claim the last stakes of our race.
When all you can see is their back's.
Yeah, what did you think,
That I didn't hear?
I heard every word, that you had said.
It's funny how, people are,
When things get hard.
Yeah, what did you think,
That I didn't see?
All those things, you tried to steal from me.
It's funny how, people seem,
When you first meet.
Yeah, what did you think,
That you are smart, and beautiful?
Aren't we all created equal?
Tell that to the slaves.
Tell that to the graves.
Tell that to the dead whose souls were bled for gold and fistfuls of discred.
Tell that to the greed.
Tell that to the power hungry thieves.
Tell that to the kids in the beds of the rapists dens.
To the women on their backs, providing for children
That should have never been born, mark it on your tax form.
Tell it to a world filled with blank faces
as bank statements claim the last stakes of our race.
Thursday, July 17, 2014
Intoxtravert
Can't control your actions
Am I a factor,
Lets close this chapter
Do I even matter?
In the scheme of things
Perpetual bleeding
I heard on the radio
That I should be easy to talk to
With every request
I set my sights on going inside
What does it feel like to lie?
All I see are reasons why
This was meant to die
Shotgun mouth, river bed of doubt
Ain't it funny how it all works out?
You said to wait, that I'm the one
Well now all the fun is with someone
Else
Ain't it funny how, it all works out?
Who do I turn to when I have burned through myself?
What does it feel like when
You put me at my ends
All that's in my head
Is a way out
Where do I go now?
Am I a factor,
Lets close this chapter
Do I even matter?
In the scheme of things
Perpetual bleeding
I heard on the radio
That I should be easy to talk to
With every request
I set my sights on going inside
What does it feel like to lie?
All I see are reasons why
This was meant to die
Shotgun mouth, river bed of doubt
Ain't it funny how it all works out?
You said to wait, that I'm the one
Well now all the fun is with someone
Else
Ain't it funny how, it all works out?
Who do I turn to when I have burned through myself?
What does it feel like when
You put me at my ends
All that's in my head
Is a way out
Where do I go now?
Growing Pains
Negative cysts popped,
so my soul may consist
of positives that uplift
as I struggle down the way
Lowering my learning curve
as life settles simplistically.
Set my sights realistically,
strictly in need of rebirth.
So here I stand, in between
the trickling of sand, alas,
face pressed upon the hour glass.
So much time has gone
and left my tedious grasp.
Will I be fortunate enough to see,
what dreams may come to be?
And as I sleep, my subconscious
mind will remind me of the things
I love or have left behind; as I struggle to find my way through this ever changing maze.
so my soul may consist
of positives that uplift
as I struggle down the way
Lowering my learning curve
as life settles simplistically.
Set my sights realistically,
strictly in need of rebirth.
So here I stand, in between
the trickling of sand, alas,
face pressed upon the hour glass.
So much time has gone
and left my tedious grasp.
Will I be fortunate enough to see,
what dreams may come to be?
And as I sleep, my subconscious
mind will remind me of the things
I love or have left behind; as I struggle to find my way through this ever changing maze.
Untitled 2 6 14
Stopped across a crosswalk.
Saw a figure I had figured was familiar, but apparently not. At all costs, the thoughts of talking, deeply haunting, leave me wanting an end to mental confusion.
What's to say to a stranger? I guess there is the danger of true feelings reeling in, but the chances, slight, and try as you might, nothing can replace the shape burned from the first time. Fault clearly cut to be all mine; is it alright to ask if you are fine? A question we all seem to mind.
Saw a figure I had figured was familiar, but apparently not. At all costs, the thoughts of talking, deeply haunting, leave me wanting an end to mental confusion.
What's to say to a stranger? I guess there is the danger of true feelings reeling in, but the chances, slight, and try as you might, nothing can replace the shape burned from the first time. Fault clearly cut to be all mine; is it alright to ask if you are fine? A question we all seem to mind.
Untitled 5 9 14
Slip my psyche,
Hiding in my body.
Strength of will, too much to fill,
A drinking cup drained of luck,
Yet still the stains remain,
Driving me to change;
To figure the ways of trust.
Push off the ground,
You've fallen down again and yet,
End is nigh. So let's kill tonight,
A time that has always been.
But since then the cold has
Taken its toll as I stack my clothes.
Remembering words my mother chose, spoken soft yet the light
she proposed has claimed home in my bitter bones. Can I crawl out of here? A tunnel dug, bred from fears. Will I make it out in one piece? Give me something I need to have, like something sweet from the past.
Hiding in my body.
Strength of will, too much to fill,
A drinking cup drained of luck,
Yet still the stains remain,
Driving me to change;
To figure the ways of trust.
Push off the ground,
You've fallen down again and yet,
End is nigh. So let's kill tonight,
A time that has always been.
But since then the cold has
Taken its toll as I stack my clothes.
Remembering words my mother chose, spoken soft yet the light
she proposed has claimed home in my bitter bones. Can I crawl out of here? A tunnel dug, bred from fears. Will I make it out in one piece? Give me something I need to have, like something sweet from the past.
Forces
Every day we face, every fate we're graced with is another chance to rise above all these graves of ancient ages.
An open book, on an empty chapter on the matters of the after life. Can the page be writ into truth if the basis is fiction? Can the pages be ripped and rewritten as we see fit, laced with attrition.
Young minds joining a hive of finite extinction, formed from fear and disillusion and a promise of acceptance. Being naive is no exception, when the elite attempt to control our minds. Their platform justified, incepted from good intentions. Yet now poison leaks from their tongues when they speak. A language bred from greed and moral weakness. Feeding you lies so deceptive you just nod your head and accept it when given your death sentence.
Together we can end this cycle of violence. Let peace rise and destroy darkness with light, as we balance the sources of the forces that blind our eyes.
An open book, on an empty chapter on the matters of the after life. Can the page be writ into truth if the basis is fiction? Can the pages be ripped and rewritten as we see fit, laced with attrition.
Young minds joining a hive of finite extinction, formed from fear and disillusion and a promise of acceptance. Being naive is no exception, when the elite attempt to control our minds. Their platform justified, incepted from good intentions. Yet now poison leaks from their tongues when they speak. A language bred from greed and moral weakness. Feeding you lies so deceptive you just nod your head and accept it when given your death sentence.
Together we can end this cycle of violence. Let peace rise and destroy darkness with light, as we balance the sources of the forces that blind our eyes.
Caught in the Thought Process
I was caught looking in,
My temple turned prison.
I picked my poisons,
I caged up my heart.
Knowing from the start,
That it would fall apart.
Some say it is easy,
Most know it is hard.
But I believe that what is meant to be,
is concealed until you need it to be seen.
People like lessons, make you weak,
But only for a second. So I stay strong,
On my path to peace, so that when I lay my head on a final piece of fabric, I can whisper to the wind, I am broken but I had it.
In my hands, in my chest.
Coursing through each and every breath.
On the way in, on the way out,
Each step lifted with no fear of doubt.
I was caught looking in,
My temple turned prison.
I picked the poisons out of my heart,
Knowing I was going to restart.
My temple turned prison.
I picked my poisons,
I caged up my heart.
Knowing from the start,
That it would fall apart.
Some say it is easy,
Most know it is hard.
But I believe that what is meant to be,
is concealed until you need it to be seen.
People like lessons, make you weak,
But only for a second. So I stay strong,
On my path to peace, so that when I lay my head on a final piece of fabric, I can whisper to the wind, I am broken but I had it.
In my hands, in my chest.
Coursing through each and every breath.
On the way in, on the way out,
Each step lifted with no fear of doubt.
I was caught looking in,
My temple turned prison.
I picked the poisons out of my heart,
Knowing I was going to restart.
Degree's (We're told what we need)
You can have a degree
That they tell you, you need.
Or you can choose a path most perceive
To be unseen. One in which you throw away, the things common of today.
You can live happily with a family
That has been told that Grammy's
And fame are things you need to gain.
I am not so plain, I have no stakes to claim. Other than the right to fight for a better life and to bestow pride on my last name.
As a man I am raised to be a stone.
Unwavering through the waves of change, unwilling to give way to the pain.
I am not alone. Even though I am left cold, shaking deep in my bones. I will fight to find a way to condone, a place to call my own. A home.
I am not free. Or so the people with riches would like for me to think. Yet I breathe, yet I scream. What do you even think?
Is it the drugs we love, or the people we trust that we must spend all our time? Is it for me and mine, or the will of the hive, the need to combine to succeed? What does it all even mean?
All I know is that the seeds have been planted, granted that I close my eyes every time that the things I despise unwind, and leave me on my death bed, blind.
There is no comfort to find, but I promise to love true and deeply, if only someone worth my time would find me worth keeping. These words like knives leave me bleeding.
That they tell you, you need.
Or you can choose a path most perceive
To be unseen. One in which you throw away, the things common of today.
You can live happily with a family
That has been told that Grammy's
And fame are things you need to gain.
I am not so plain, I have no stakes to claim. Other than the right to fight for a better life and to bestow pride on my last name.
As a man I am raised to be a stone.
Unwavering through the waves of change, unwilling to give way to the pain.
I am not alone. Even though I am left cold, shaking deep in my bones. I will fight to find a way to condone, a place to call my own. A home.
I am not free. Or so the people with riches would like for me to think. Yet I breathe, yet I scream. What do you even think?
Is it the drugs we love, or the people we trust that we must spend all our time? Is it for me and mine, or the will of the hive, the need to combine to succeed? What does it all even mean?
All I know is that the seeds have been planted, granted that I close my eyes every time that the things I despise unwind, and leave me on my death bed, blind.
There is no comfort to find, but I promise to love true and deeply, if only someone worth my time would find me worth keeping. These words like knives leave me bleeding.
Embers
Masses pile on the make up,
In hopes to erase who they are.
Told to hold on to standards that they themselves
Had no choice in creating,
What is the point in faking?
There is no risk in placating
the ads and fads of yesterday.
I want to be myself today.
Take the blood from my veins,
Decode my so "complex" DNA.
Tell me we aren't the same.
I'll give love like a last breath every time.
Knife in hand, or just yours and mine, intertwined.
Hate is a monster, a disease, spread by those
Who have lived to be deceived, not me,
Seek not greed, but the things that make you happy.
Yes I know, believing is a travesty, a tragedy.
But it is all madness if you lack faith.
Whether it be to some unknown god in space,
Or your own inner strength, all it takes is hope.
Hope that humanity will prove that the light
that shines, is far more bright than the evil that
lurks inside.
It is in us all. It seeps, burning deep, plaguing our dreams while we sleep wishing, wanting us to fail.
To cling onto the darkness as frail, fragile things.
That sadness never lasts, all you have to do is believe.
Believe in yourself.
In hopes to erase who they are.
Told to hold on to standards that they themselves
Had no choice in creating,
What is the point in faking?
There is no risk in placating
the ads and fads of yesterday.
I want to be myself today.
Take the blood from my veins,
Decode my so "complex" DNA.
Tell me we aren't the same.
I'll give love like a last breath every time.
Knife in hand, or just yours and mine, intertwined.
Hate is a monster, a disease, spread by those
Who have lived to be deceived, not me,
Seek not greed, but the things that make you happy.
Yes I know, believing is a travesty, a tragedy.
But it is all madness if you lack faith.
Whether it be to some unknown god in space,
Or your own inner strength, all it takes is hope.
Hope that humanity will prove that the light
that shines, is far more bright than the evil that
lurks inside.
It is in us all. It seeps, burning deep, plaguing our dreams while we sleep wishing, wanting us to fail.
To cling onto the darkness as frail, fragile things.
That sadness never lasts, all you have to do is believe.
Believe in yourself.
We don't want to be
Here I am, alone.
My only friend a pair of headphones.
I've had lovers, and genuine brothers,
Their paths lack function in my new math.
I'll always have their backs, even when mine is bare.
I won't be scared, to take these steps ahead of me.
We would dance all night,
Drink till our pants dropped out of sight.
We would laugh with the rising sun,
Till having fun was our number one priority.
And as majority would have it,
Us young kids would cause havoc.
Erasing the sadness with madness and glossy eyed smiles.
Here I stand, pockets filled with hands.
Shoulders shrugged at what has become.
Days slink by as I think on good times.
Each memory as blessed as the last,
What I would give for another glance,
but fair is fair, and I wouldn't dare to chance.
On clouds we'd stay,
With a room filled with warm talk.
Often we would play,
Always chasing the ticking clock.
And when we ran out of words,
Our souls would converse,
Till our stomachs hurt.
Can't I still love three thousand miles away?
Is it too much to ask for you to love me back?
Is it an insecurity developed from abandonment?
Can't place me on a shelf in a glass cabinet,
Live on the same planet, Sometimes...
Yeah we do, sometimes.
My only friend a pair of headphones.
I've had lovers, and genuine brothers,
Their paths lack function in my new math.
I'll always have their backs, even when mine is bare.
I won't be scared, to take these steps ahead of me.
We would dance all night,
Drink till our pants dropped out of sight.
We would laugh with the rising sun,
Till having fun was our number one priority.
And as majority would have it,
Us young kids would cause havoc.
Erasing the sadness with madness and glossy eyed smiles.
Here I stand, pockets filled with hands.
Shoulders shrugged at what has become.
Days slink by as I think on good times.
Each memory as blessed as the last,
What I would give for another glance,
but fair is fair, and I wouldn't dare to chance.
On clouds we'd stay,
With a room filled with warm talk.
Often we would play,
Always chasing the ticking clock.
And when we ran out of words,
Our souls would converse,
Till our stomachs hurt.
Can't I still love three thousand miles away?
Is it too much to ask for you to love me back?
Is it an insecurity developed from abandonment?
Can't place me on a shelf in a glass cabinet,
Live on the same planet, Sometimes...
Yeah we do, sometimes.
This Place
Hide behind a clenched fist,
All my wisdom I've learned is listless,
A few years too late, god as my witness
But I am open to suggestion and debate.
I will close my mouth and refrain,
Unwilling to relate.
Hide behind a closed door,
Hoping that the people I loved are no more.
So I can stop feeling, and reeling by my heart.
Strung out and afraid, life is hard, and death is swift,
I'd give my soul for that one sweet kiss,
That held value like it once did when I was a stupid kid.
Hide behind these walls of mine.
Worked so hard to define, got a ghost of a disguise.
It was in your eyes! The words of betrayal
That left my mouth, wretched and stale, a stench was left in your nose.
But I suppose pupil and teacher are the same, at each end
We pretend to not know and place blame.
Yet we always knew what it would boil down to.
Who am I and who are you?
What is this fucked up place we were born into?
At first it felt right, then I lost sight.
Who am I and who are you?
I guess I'll hide behind these walls of mine,
Till I decide it's time.
All my wisdom I've learned is listless,
A few years too late, god as my witness
But I am open to suggestion and debate.
I will close my mouth and refrain,
Unwilling to relate.
Hide behind a closed door,
Hoping that the people I loved are no more.
So I can stop feeling, and reeling by my heart.
Strung out and afraid, life is hard, and death is swift,
I'd give my soul for that one sweet kiss,
That held value like it once did when I was a stupid kid.
Hide behind these walls of mine.
Worked so hard to define, got a ghost of a disguise.
It was in your eyes! The words of betrayal
That left my mouth, wretched and stale, a stench was left in your nose.
But I suppose pupil and teacher are the same, at each end
We pretend to not know and place blame.
Yet we always knew what it would boil down to.
Who am I and who are you?
What is this fucked up place we were born into?
At first it felt right, then I lost sight.
Who am I and who are you?
I guess I'll hide behind these walls of mine,
Till I decide it's time.
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
It's All Gone
It was the breeze that carried home.
A stain of rain lingering in my nose.
A taste of whiskey I have yet to forget.
Needed something cold to warm my broken bones.
Skin like silk, frictionless.
The medicine stopped so I pictured it.
Two bodies, two minds, all at once they were combined.
I am seizing, foaming at the mouth.
That word laced now with frigid doubt.
Looking through the glass,
I saw ground, wind whipping past.
Finally happy to feel something real.
As sadness does have quite the appeal.
Skin like silk, frictionless.
Hot breath shaking my ear,
Hard pressed a present fear.
Can't we just sleep through the night?
No more appetite, no more dreams.
Another visit from the silent thief.
It seems that everyone has the key,
To the chamber of the queen.
Except for me, it's all gone,
Except for me. Rejecting, accepting,
Impressing, undressing me.
It's all gone except for me.
Finger jammed on the panic button.
Got the bible and a bottle in the oven.
You reap what you sow, reap what you sow.
Are we even now, can't remember how.
Are we even now, can't remember now,
Used to be so proud, of me.
-Austin Larriba
A stain of rain lingering in my nose.
A taste of whiskey I have yet to forget.
Needed something cold to warm my broken bones.
Skin like silk, frictionless.
The medicine stopped so I pictured it.
Two bodies, two minds, all at once they were combined.
I am seizing, foaming at the mouth.
That word laced now with frigid doubt.
Looking through the glass,
I saw ground, wind whipping past.
Finally happy to feel something real.
As sadness does have quite the appeal.
Skin like silk, frictionless.
Hot breath shaking my ear,
Hard pressed a present fear.
Can't we just sleep through the night?
No more appetite, no more dreams.
Another visit from the silent thief.
It seems that everyone has the key,
To the chamber of the queen.
Except for me, it's all gone,
Except for me. Rejecting, accepting,
Impressing, undressing me.
It's all gone except for me.
Finger jammed on the panic button.
Got the bible and a bottle in the oven.
You reap what you sow, reap what you sow.
Are we even now, can't remember how.
Are we even now, can't remember now,
Used to be so proud, of me.
-Austin Larriba
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