But I Still Won't Go Back

Catch that old familiar feeling,
Caught on the down wind,
Ain't no thing as a safe place.

I hear stories all the time,
About how people get involved,
I break records and pluck fresh from the vines.
Just to see how inclined with crime I can get.

I will never forget that old smell,
It lingers still on that shirt,
Remembrance of us raising hell,
And the devil nipping at our backs.

Catch that old familiar feeling,
Caught on the down wind of being human,
Ain't no thing as a safe place,
Ain't no thing as comfort.

I'll keep searching, and when I do,
I'll find it wandering in the deep black and blue.
But I won't call you, so we won't have to ask,
The same bullshit questions, in our minds that stack.
I lack apprehension, for a better me.
When lost in the mirror, cracks are all I see.

I make promises I always break,
They take away from the every now and then.
If only I knew what I do now then,
Maybe I would have broken more and said less.
At least then the excess of our spent emotion,
Would be so unhinged in the closure.

Can you find me now?
Did you hear what I said,
Did you see how I laid in the bed?

Can you dig in the ground?
As I lay, pretending to tend my own grave,
As I pray for an ease of memory.
I held you in my arms a final time that night,
Too bad that it all was a lie, it all was mine.